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Letter to Kate Kendell of NCLR re: her Marriage strategy apology [07 Jul 2008|05:40am]

I'm happy to see that you responded sensitively to the bi community's complaints.  We're pretty forgiving when people "get it" and give a heartfelt apology.
 
I've been out as bi since I was a 16 yo HS student in 1973. I was the only out queer woman on my college campus.  I cant go back. Or actually, I've never been in, because I came out the second I had feelings for a woman.
 
I strongly believe we can only get there in unity. I'm pretty sure you already realized that alienating the entire bi community in the name of getting new allies wont move us forward.
 
I spoke to a bi activist from Massachusetts today who is same-sex married and was very involved in Marriage organizing up there and he said that there were similar concerns over messaging in MA but they used a lot of inclusive messaging and won.
 
The thing about asking us to be invisible til after the election is, it's not just a few months (not that it would even be tolerable for that long because it would go against the basic principals of the whole LGBT movement.) I started doing the math: there are 50 states in the union and only 1.5 have marriage right now. That's 48.5 states to go, which could take 100 years or more.  If the bisexual movement has to be silent until Marriage is achieved nationwide (not to mention all the other LGBT rights we still dont have) we might as well pack up right now. To me, that would be like death.
 
Marriage is an issue where gay and lesbian leaders and press have not been using inclusive language at all, even though many of us having been providing education for them on the topic...we havent been able to break through. I hope this turns the tide.
 
What we need is your help in educating other lesbian and gay leaders as well as gay and mainstream press, that LGBT rights issues affect bi people. Encourage them to use us as examples of an issue in a press release or a news story. Show them how to do it by example. Mention a bi married couple in a press release on Marriage, a bi veteran in PR about the military, a bi person fired from a job when writing or speachifying about ENDA. As soon as L&G orgs and leaders start acting like bisexual people are an accepted, normalized and equal part of the LGBT community, the press and society at large will get the message. L&G leaders and orgs are the key because everyone takes their cues from you.
 
I am attaching the Bi Writers Association handout on Mariage Equality: Putting the B in LGBT as well as our Media Guide as a whole.
 
Once again, thank you for listening and thanks for being willing to rethink your strategy.  I strongly believe that by sticking together and working hard, we will win.
 
Peace,
 
Sheela Lambert
Founder, Bi Writers Association
 
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[07 Jul 2008|12:48pm]
Civics in a minute

I did something interesting today. I looked up my state Senator's website and checked out his issues page, where I found a link to his page on Same Sex Marriage. The first paragraph was very good with inclusive language, but scrolling down to paragraph three, I saw this:

"As important as this step was, it is also a reminder of how much more work we have to do to protect the civil rights of gay and lesbian New Yorkers. I continue to disagree with the July 2006 court of appeals' decision in Hernandez v. Robles finding that current state law bars the performance of same sex marriages in New York State."

So I gave his office a call and was put in touch with his communication's guy. I pointed out to him the offending sentence and explained that as a bisexual New Yorker, this issue affects me because if I fell in love with a woman I wouldnt be able to marry her. He said the sentence was meant to be inclusive. I said it's great that it's your intention to be inclusive but pointed out that, as written, it really wasnt and I didnt get that message from reading it.

So he discussed it with the Senator and it was changed within the hour. It now reads:

"As important as this step was, it is also a reminder of how much more work we have to do to protect the civil rights of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered New Yorkers. I continue to disagree with the July 2006 court of appeals' decision in Hernandez v. Robles finding that current state law bars the performance of same sex marriages in New York State."

I asked if he could send me an email when it was changed, which he did, so I found out about it right away.

This whole process only took a few minutes out of my life...I highly recommend it! 

You can see the webpage here http://www.schneiderman.org/show.php?page=issues&id=181

I remember back in the day (1992-93), when half a dozen of us used to have face to face meetings with local politicians' gay liasons to discuss these same kind of issues and got completely stonewalled (no pun intended.)
 
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